Dear Apostate,
I am grieved that I see so many people on this forum, like yourself, that are so upset and turned off with the bible. I can understand why. You went through a lot of garbage and were spit out feeling depressed and bitter. However, the bible was not written to mess people up. Quite the contrary. The bible was written so all of us messed up up people could be straightened out and live forever in God's presence. It's not the bible that messes people up, it's the way people handle the bible that causes harm. The bible will never lead you astray, however, some people's handling of it will. I encourage you to take a fresh look at it again. Read it like you are reading it for the very first time. I know this is hard for you but God is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him.
Love
Tower Man